It’s a wonderful thing to watch the people you care about moving forward. One friend has left a bad marriage and is moving into her new home this week. Another began her next working chapter as a substitute teacher today. Yet another has finally booked the trip to Costa Rica that he’s been talking about for years.
A few days ago, I had a long lunch with three close girlfriends. I have watched these women try on various approaches to business, life, relationships and wellness for more than 10 years. Over pumpkin spice soup, all three reported big leaps forward. They have done the work in their relationships and are happier for it. Entrepreneurs all, they have cleared the clutter and nailed their respective niches. And, as they described their accomplishments of late, I couldn’t help but notice that none of them has ever looked better.
I was unusually quiet when it came time for my typically robust update. Although a big leaper in my 20s and 30s, 40 to date has been a bit of a slow crawl. Before, if I told a story about leaving something, it was followed by the great thing with which I replaced it. One bad client was replaced with two great ones. 4 days of illness were replaced with 4 months of vibrant health. One instance of impatient, exhausted, sub-par parenting was replaced with 3 ba-bam, nailed it, awesome mom moments.
More recently, I’ve just been doing the first part…the decision to leave or change situations that no longer work. The follow-up action part of what I will replace them with, when and how, has yet to crystallize for me. I have the running start part down, but the leap is incomplete. Why can’t I get to the action step part? The up in the air part? Well, because I’m very, very busy, you see.
I have to manage my diabetes, which is a lot in and of itself. I have two growing, active kids who need my focus, attention and guidance. I have two dogs. I have a lot of people in my life who need my time. I’m very distracted by all the to-do’s and the people and the situations I have to manage, support, and feed. That’s why I can’t move forward, of course, because I just don’t have the time.
Except for the fact that back when I did the leaping, I didn’t have the time, either. I have the same to-do’s and distractions today as I did then. While the landscape has changed a bit, the demands on my energy, time and attention remain the same. The only difference is that back then, those things didn’t rise to the level of excuses and roadblocks. The leap was within me; it was unstoppable. The pursuit of my best life was never deterred by random circumstances on any given Thursday.
Today, I don’t believe in those excuses. I make room for the possibility that perhaps tomorrow I will believe in them again, as I can be very convincing. But for today, I will seek out the leap. I will finish the thought. I will put action behind the decision.
I would ask you to step aside so that you aren’t knocked over by my leaping, but I suppose the only one who needs to get out of my way is me.